The Calm Before the Storm

Sunday 25th May

I’ve had a good couple of weeks, lots of catching up with people in between hospital appointments. Almost felt normal again at times. Started driving again which has been ace and I believe is doing my dodgy arm some good, the movement is much better now. Everyone is telling me how well I look, which is nice. Funny isn’t it, I’ve got cancer but have never looked so well. I’m sure it’s a combination of my new diet, lots of rest and not being in work.

Boobs fully inflated, they look absolutely fine in clothes, those who don’t know me would never guess I’ve had my real ones chopped off. Its great not having to wear a bra, they just sit there!!

Visited the wig shop where I selected four wigs from a catalogue. I will then go in, try them on and select one. Still can’t see myself wearing one.  I think I drove the woman in the shop nuts, she was pointing some wigs out and my response was “it looks like a wig” to almost all of them (awkward bugger) We’ll see when they arrive.

I’ve been pondering on life after cancer. What will I do? I really don’t know, but I cannot see myself going back to my old life. Maybe I will go back but be a different person. I had started to save to buy a house but that just seems pointless now. What will I do instead?

I’ve been spending a lot of time on the online support group, probably too much time if I’m honest. The girls are great.  One girl wrote “Since being diagnosed what have you decided life is too short for?” Here are some of the responses which made me chuckle:

Ironing

Housework

People who piss me off

Being Married! (My favourite)

Being scared of thunder

Sweating the small stuff

Knobheads

Going to work

Shit men

People who don’t give a shit about me

People who moan for the sake of moaning

Letting my Mother in law piss me off

Wasting time matching socks

Depriving myself of Lurpak

Friends who think cancer is contagious

Wasting time and energy on arseholes

Guess which one was my response?

I'm not really the selfie type.
For blog purposes only!

I’ve had my hair cut a couple of times, its short now. I do like it but I would prefer it on someone else. I look like my Mum. I’ve planned a head shave gathering for the 7^th June which will be nice as most of my bezzies will be there.  The closer I come to losing my hair the more concerned I am about it. Lots of people have told me I might not lose my hair as they know someone who had chemo…..  There are about 30 different chemo drugs and the four I’m having cause hair loss so yes I will lose my hair. I’ve also thought about when it grows back. Apparently it always grows back curlier, which is cool as my hair is already so curly I might have an afro!! It often grows back a different colour too!! Yikes!! If it grows back ginger that would really PISS ME OFF!! That really would be the icing on the cake. If you do pray for me please pray that my hair does not grow back ginger.

Looking like my Mum.

Chemo starts on Tuesday. I’m booked in for 9.30am, scary. I’m most concerned about the nausea as this is what I really struggled with after the op. I plan on demanding the best anti sickness drugs they have, although I’m not very good at being demanding. Must be more assertive – note to self. I’ve never really been “ill” the most serious illness I’ve ever had is Tonsilitus, I’m dreading it. But, you never know I might sail through it, some do apparently. Fingers crossed.

P.S CHECK YOUR BOOBS!!!

K X