A Conspiracy Perhaps?

Thursday 8th May

Have you checked your boobs lately? No? Why not? Do it!!! You don't want to end up like me.

Having cancer is bizarre. The Breast Care Unit told me I had cancer but I didn't feel ill.  They decided to chop my boobs off and on the day of the operation I walked into the hospital as fit as a fiddle. 5 days later I was wheeled out in my pyjamas. They then told me I needed my lymph nodes removing which again made me feel weak and ill.  Now I'm back to normal they tell me I need Chemotherapy. Its madness. I'm almost tempted to say "nah, honest I'm fine, I don't need Chemo!"  I just have to trust that they know what they are doing.  I do wonder if its a conspiracy and I don't actually have cancer. Perhaps the NHS actually have a deal with China whereby they export Western boobs to sell on back street markets as aphrodisiacs or something. You never know!

Anyway, I went to Clatterbridge yesterday for my pre-assessment. It was a nice enough place but full of old people. I'm sure I stuck out like a sore thumb. The Phlebotomist said "you're young ain't ya, they are getting younger and younger, makes you wonder why, is it diet or something". We proceeded to have a little debate about how diet has changed over the years.  There must be something in it surely.

Got a prescription for a wig!! Mad. I'm not arsed about a wig but I might as well get one if its free hey. I've had my hair cut a couple of times and its now above chin length, next I will be going short in preparation for the big shave. Yikes!! I've also received my free prescription card which is valid for 5 years!! Every cloud hey.

I've joined an online support group which is bloody brilliant.  I was having a "feeling sorry for myself day" the other day. I feel like I'm in this new club but I'm the only member. My Breast Care Nurse told me that having cancer is a lonely place and she is so right. Its not lonely in terms of not having company, its lonely in terms of feeling like I'm watching everyone go about their normal lives while I just observe. Feeling like I don't belong in "normal life" anymore. Its odd. Anyway the online support group is ace. Its for young women with Breast Cancer. The members are great and so so supportive. I really think it will help me to get through this.

Oh have I reminded you to check your boobs???????  DO IT!!!!!!