Never Stop Celebrating

On the the 5th march 2014, I was getting to grips with lots of changes at work and was wondering if I really wanted to be there. I was still getting over a nasty break up which happened the previous year and had recently recovered from a frightening bout of anxiety. Then, the following day, on the 6th March 2014 all of this faded into insignificance. "I'm afraid it is cancer". I was plucked out of reality and thrown into the most horrendous whirlwind in order to stay alive.

Fast forward 15 months and my life has changed completely. I have met some amazing people, I have a brilliant new job (3 actually, long story), I'm about to move into a little flat, I'm about to qualify in some alternative therapies and I am happier, much happier. I have changed, a lot. I'm not sure if others can see it but I have. I'm more positive, I have more energy, I want to make the most of each day and I want to live! Corny perhaps, but true.


My cancer story was horrible, I wouldn't recommend it and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. When I hear about someone being diagnosed now my stomach turns over, it truly is one of the most awful things that can happen to anyone. But for me it has turned out to be a positive experience. It has turned my life around, for the better.


Don't get me wrong I don't spend all of my time skipping through the streets whilst humming a merry tune.  I have bad days, I still cry (when nobody is looking), I still wake up in shock that it has happened, I feel sad about my boobs and I am scared, really scared, about my future. I look around at my friends and other people of my age with envy. Envy that they don't have this horrible fear that I have, envy that they have faith in their bodies and envy of that carefree attitude I once had. I listen to my friends talk about "when I'm older" or "when I retire" and I feel that I can't join in with the conversation. I envy them for their optimism about getting old. I'm told that "it gets better with time", this fearful, envious, isolating feeling I have. I hope so.


I hope I can be of some help to those diagnosed in the future. I could talk about cancer all day long if you'd let me. Therefore if you ever come across a friend or family member who is diagnosed with Breast Cancer feel free to put them in touch with me. I would happily give up my time to listen, give advice and make inappropriate jokes.

A few people have said that they feel that they have got to know me more through my blog. I suppose this is because I'm not much of a talker really, but I'm definitely a thinker, always have been, that hasn't changed. I've always liked writing, so have really enjoyed doing it. I've had over 18,000 views of this blog so far, from all over the world too.  I am sad to let it go, but it has served its purpose. I may get the urge to write again and if so I may return.

I have read lots of blogs written by young women with Breast cancer now. Unfortunately many of them have a sad ending. I have also lost count of the number of YBCN members who have lost their lives over the recent months. I am therefore very lucky to end this blog happy and healthy. 

My diagnosis really has taught me to enjoy life, to surround myself with positive people and to remove myself from any situation that doesn't make me happy. Life really is too short. I will never ever stop celebrating. x