Almost A Year

As my cancerversary approaches I have started to wonder if it is really worth celebrating this day. Who celebrates the day they were told they had cancer??!! Instead, I shall mark the day with a small gathering of friends.

I have started to think about the many anniversaries I could actually celebrate. The day I was cancer free (when all surgery was completed), the day I finished chemo, the day I finished active treatment, the day my hair started growing back. So many.  Any excuse for a gathering. I think that the day I became cancer free may be the most appropriate. I'll have this day as my second birthday I reckon. Therefore the 22nd April will be my first birthday. A whole year cancer free. Amazing and scary all at the same time.

Although the past 12 months have been horrendous, there have been many positives. Cancer has actually done me a lot of favours. It has brought me new friends and filtered out the shit ones. You certainly find out who is there for you when the shit hits the fan. I have also been amazed by the kindness of strangers. Some people really are lovely. I've given up a job I wasn't really bothered about and managed to bag myself a brilliant new one, which I really really wanted (well done me). I've taken up some courses and learned new skills. I've visited some new places and now have more drive to get out there and create memories. A friend of mine said "you have made the best out of a terrible situation" and I suppose I have. Didn't think I had it in me actually.

Cancer has made me look on life more positively. I have always felt that I've been dealt a shitty hand in many aspects of my life. I have learned though, that  it doesn't get any worse than cancer, nothing, absolutely nothing can be as bad as that. The ONLY way is up.

I'm feeling better every day, I think about cancer less often, I cry less often, I think about dying less often. I feel like I have more energy now than I did before, I'm not sure if I actually do or if its more about my new attitude to make the most of every day.

I'll mark my cancerversary with my friends this weekend and then I'm off on a sunny holiday in a few weeks time. I've been daydreaming about this holiday for what feels like a long long time. Can't bloody wait!!