Screw you FEC and Hello "T"

Monday 28th July

Normality has resumed both physically and mentally for now, thank god. I felt much much better last week. I was so excited to feel normal again that I planned lots of nice things in for my "well week". Kept myself busy during the weekend and the beginning of the week, most outings including food - Pizza night at the Artichoke and a lovely Afternoon Tea on Tuesday  (I have a bit of an obsession with Afternoon Tea). By Wednesday morning though I felt rough again, really really tired and my temperature was very low which was bizarre considering how hot it was. I called Clatterebridge for advice, who said that I was suffering from fatigue as I had pushed myself too hard over the previous few days. Jesus, a few little outings and I'm knackered. Weird isn't it.

I went back for Chemo 4 this morning. As I explained in my last post I am now on a different drug with different side effects. I saw the Oncologist and told her about my horrible week whereby my emotions were all over the place. She said that this was a side effect of the steroids. Hurrah! Someone has finally given a reason for my mental state, I'm not going mad after all. She agreed that I can now stager the steroids so that I don't have such a horrible come down from them. Hope that works.

After my "mental" week I referred myself to the Hospice. Not to book myself in or anything but for alternative therapies. Yet another free service you get when you have cancer. I had a session of reflexology as I love my feet being touched. The treatment was AMAZING!!! So relaxing that I came home and fell asleep. It really did help me to chill out. Can't wait to go back next week.

In other news - There is a piece of information I haven't provided you with, as it was taking me a while to get my head around it. Remember I explained that my cancer is called Triple Negative? Well I found out about a month ago that I had Triple Negative in the left boob but in the right was Hormone Receptive. So that's two different cancers, which are COMPLETELY UNRELATED!! Unlucky hey and rare apparently.  This means that I will have to have other treatment apart from Chemo and Radiotherapy in order to treat the Hormone Receptive cancer. I was waiting for the full results which I found out today (long story as to why its taken so long, communication issues between hospitals). Thankfully I do not need Herceptin which is an injection every three weeks for a year and causes yucky side effects, but I will be on other medication for 5 years, possibly longer. I have mixed feelings about this. I don't particularly want to be on medication but at least it gives me piece of mind in terms of the Hormone Receptive Cancer. As for not having to have Herceptin injections I'm made up as this means the cancer is not the most aggressive. Good news.

In other news - yes there is more. My Oncologist has refused to prescribe me with the fertility drug which was putting my ovaries to sleep. She was a little annoyed that the Fertility Consultant had not let her know that he had prescribed it in the first place. According to my Oncologist "some studies suggest that it is detrimental to Chemotherapy" she said "if he is willing to prescribe it let him prescribe it". I just wanted someone to tell me what to do, I certainly don't want to put myself at risk and as I've said before, I don't have a burning desire to have kids. I spoke to the Fertility Consultant about this conversation and he said that if my Oncologist is against it then he is not willing to prescribe it again. Again I have mixed feelings about this but as I said to my Oncologist "well if I'm dead I can't have kids anyway can I". Opinions on fertility treatment differ between Oncologists, mine is renowned for being against it, but we can argue and fight for our right to have it. I however just don't have the energy to do this right now. There is still a possibility that I could get pregnant but cancer has made this much less likely. Sad but I'm ok with it. I've certainly had a lot to take in lately, my poor little head.

I got back from Chemo a couple of hours ago and so far I feel absolutely fine. The general rule with "T" is that you feel fine for the first few days and then the side effects kick in for about ten days. As I've said previously everyone is different though, so we shall see. 

I have been building up the courage to post a no hair photo. I've been reluctant but I think it may be really helpful to anyone who reads this blog who is about to start treatment for cancer. As a female the thought of losing your hair is pretty terrifying, but once the initial shock is over its really not that bad. Getting ready in the morning is so much quicker, you save a fortune on hair cuts and products (well I do anyway) and whipping your scarf off when you get indoors is really liberating. Many cancer patients are happy to walk around with their bald heads and I have to say, when I see them I'm a little jealous of their bravery. Maybe I will get there, dunno. I actually think I look quite cute with my bald head. In the photo it looks like I have no hair at all, but I do, well perhaps not "hair" as such but fluff. So here it is......