F.A.Q.C

Frequently Asked Questions and Comments

I thought I would put this together as the same questions and comments keep coming up. 

Q - So what happens now?
Not a lot to be honest. I will have a post treatment review with my Oncologist and then be referred back to the breast clinic. Most women have regular mammograms but as I don't have real boobs any more I don't need one. It does feel as though we are abandoned after treatment to be honest. We are advised to check ourselves for re-occurrences and spread. Scary huh.

Q - What did the lump feel like?
Its was hard and deep, it couldn't be felt by just brushing your hand over, you had to press in. I could actually grab it between my fingers, it felt about 2cm but was 4cm when removed.

C - I bet you can't wait to get your new boobs / You are lucky, I would love some new boobs!!
Erm, no not really. I'd rather have kept my original ones. Everyone presumes my reconstruction will be like getting a "boob job" but I can promise you its something else entirely. 

Q - When will you have your reconstruction?
Reconstruction can take place 6 months after treatment at the earliest. I can decide when I would like to have it, there is no cut off period.  I'm in no rush to be honest. I've just been to hell and back, I need to get over that first.

Q - How long will it take for your hair to come back?
How long is a piece of string? It is growing and I have just started to go out in public without a scarf. Shame its getting cold though! 

C - You are so strong.
I didn't really have a choice to be honest.

C - You are so brave.
See above.

C - At least you don't have kids.
Yeah, thanks for that!!

Q - Was chemo as bad as you thought?
Yes.

Q - When are you going back to work?
When I am physically and mentally well enough.

Q - Why did you have your lymph nodes removed?
Because cancerous cells were found in two of them so the rest were removed to see if there was any more. There wasn't, thankfully. Cancer spreads through the Lymph system so a biopsy has to be taken near to the cancer site. Having my lymph nodes removed means that I am at a high risk of developing Lymphoedema. I therefore have to be very careful with my left arm. I have to avoid, bites, cuts, scratches, hot temperatures and so on. My left arm is now much weaker than my right. I cannot carry my bag on my left shoulder as it aches if I do.

Q - Do you have a good prognosis?
I haven't asked and I don't want to know. I have a good idea in terms of statistics but statistics are statistics. Every case is different but I am being realistic about this. Lets just say that it would be a bloody miracle if I get my bus pass.

C - You will come away from this a stronger person.
I'm not feeling very strong right now but we shall see. Yes I do think this will change me and it has already to some extent. I was a bit of a stress head before all this and I am 100% convinced that stress has something to do with my diagnosis. Obviously stress did not "cause" my cancer but I believe that stress encouraged the cancerous cells in my body to grow and reproduce quickly. Staring death in the face makes you realise that life really is to short to sweat the small stuff, to put up with any shit and to be unhappy. 

C - You can't keep thinking about it coming back, you have to be positive.
You've obviously never had cancer. I will live with the fear of it returning for the rest of my life. I now notice every ache or pain in my body and worry that it might be cancer. This is completely normal for someone in my position. Apparently this fear comes around less and less over time.

Q - Do you plan to change your life?
Yes, but I'm really not in the right place to make any big decisions right now. I'm still quite fragile both physically and emotionally. I do have some ideas and have already started making changes behind the scenes.

C - I don't know how you have done it, I wouldn't have coped.
Yes you would, you have no choice.

Q - Do you have a family history of Breast Cancer?
Nope.

C - I know someone who had Breast Cancer, it spread really quickly and she died within 6 months.
Er, fuck off.

C - My friend had Breast Cancer years ago and she's fine.
That's more like it.